Saturday, March 31, 2012

since i'm not here



~sungguh lama tk updated blog..fell busy + empty..yela final years student then weekend je ade kelas..otak nie asyik pikir final years projek je...sampai termimpi2 dlm tido..seriusly tk tipu...hahhaha...dasyat kan???tpi normal la bgi ku..coz ku seriusly nervous nak hbiskan part last bergelar pelajar nie..hukhuk..sem nie setelah ku hitung2 balik kira2 worst ckit dari sem lepas yang cool je..hukhuk..dugaan kot..yela orng nak dewasa kena terima dugaan yang cow2 kan sebelum dapt stage "dewasa yang cemerlang"huhuhu..tpi ku tk sedia lagi nak kena pegang angka 23...tk prepare pe3 pom lagi..diri,mental..semua fail lagi....mak selalu ckp..."akak.action be a mature one please...you're not a child anymore dear"..hahahhaha...mak i say...hahahha..tpi sowie mak akak tk sedia...nak control hati ngan perasaan pom fail lagi apatah lagi nak sorok ape yang ade dlm hati..kak ti kata orang dewasa anggap semua mende remeh and tk ikut hati....so,kalu sebut pasal matang..memang ku rasa tk layak la untuk title 2...biar orng cakp ku nie pikiran mature even action like a child...hehehhe...

 todays i'm feel sad...yesterday i'm feel blur + empty..and i hope tommorow will give me a thounsand reason to smile...:)

dear pakcik : i tk lupa ur date la..special date pom i tk lupa..tpi i tknak wish sebab i rasa sia-sia..tkpe kan???hahah

dear kamu: i wish i can hear ur gelak2 lagi...ur lawak2 lagi...i rindu nak tengok u smile...tpi sekarang semua mende you serius ngan i..tk suke la...i miss 3 years moment with you...feel so closely but now..even hari2 kita msg..hari2 kita cakp tpi i feel a part form you..kenapa erk??k i je yang ngada2..seriusly tk...i tk reti tipu hati i...so itu yang i rasa...hukhuk...even kita tahu hati masing2 macam mana,tahu and faham akan risikonya, ingin yang terbaik dalam hidup kita..tpi i hope u will be  my best friend forever...tempat i luahkan ape yang i rasa nak luah,share ape yang i nak share ngan u,mintk pendapt you yang bernas 2,at least i'm not feel alone because i'm still have you 2 to share...but now seriusly i tk rasa mcm dulu...tk thu kenapa..cuba act mcm dulu..tpi entah la...ape yang blocking i pom i tk pasti...hukhuk..mybe sebab ur action now make me remain for someone that make me died in the past..so, my sickness comes around me..:'(  but its ok la...i try to be more3 strong...mybe ALLAH hadirkan kamu dengan action mcm 2 sebab ALLAH nak kuatkan hati i..and i really hope u still beside me because i'm still need you in my life forever even one days our title will change 
                                                                                                         
menungu perhentian seterusnya berbekalkan doa:)


hope this month i leh kenyit mata sambil senyum..amin


3 comments:

  1. my dear fren miss suzela
    i know u will n i know u are strong
    mgkin insiden yg berterus terang haritu dh sedikit ubah cara dia
    give him some time ye..
    will you?

    ReplyDelete
  2. yup..mybe...:( i miss him like before..now i reliaze..i just need a friend to give me a thousound reason to hepy no need to have some one special...

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  3. no no..that was definitely not what i meant
    frens help u anytime anywhere and undeniable, we all need frens
    but your heart still need a special someone
    not to replace those frens
    but to fill the empty space in ur heart..:)

    ReplyDelete